I had been fighting with myself for months…
The opportunity had arisen at work for me to take on more responsibilities, be more involved. Throw myself a little more into something other then a taxi diver, referee, counselor, cook…. you know the drill.
We have 5 kiddos ages 4 to 10. And although I love being a mom more then anything in the whole world I’d be lying if I said I never thought of expanding my horizons, diving more into a career… if only for a little escape from wiping butts, finding shoes, or making a dinner no one ends up eating.
I certainly know I’m lucky, blessed. That some would do anything to have this abundance of little people needing something all the time, all day long, every day. And yet I had found myself in a funk. Seriously contemplating giving more and more at work to escape some of the craziness, mundane-ness (if thats even a word) at home.
And then one of the most simplest, maybe to some, even a trivial little thing happened. I was working from home one particular morning and came up the steps to check that all the kids were up and moving for school. And there was my 6 year old, quietly crying while trying to get the butter to spread on her toast. So simple, but it hit me like a cider block! At face value it was just butter, and a little piece of toast, but in reality it was a 6 year old trying to manage a busy school morning on her own. And just like that my priorities snapped right back into place.
Yes, you can be a career women and a mom all at the same time. Many women do and do it exceptionally well. And of course everyone needs to do something for themselves from time to time. However for me, I knew I couldn’t do full fledged career, and motherhood…. and do them both well. These kiddos are mine only for a short time. Of course they hear often that I love them, but serving them in all I do and being present as much as I can be is the career I’ve been called to at this time in my life. I still don’t do it joyfully ALL THE TIME, but going into parenthood with an attitude that servant-hood is more of a privilege and less of a burden has made difference.
“For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love”. Galations 5:13